Learning to Listen to Your Loved Ones
Often when we are listening to someone else, we are already formulating our answer, determining our opinion or worrying about how this news might impact us. Many people today are much better at talking than they are at truly listening.
When we genuinely listen to someone else, we show that we are truly interested in the other person and their thoughts, ideas and well-being. Listening means paying attention, focusing on someone else and devoting time to the mere act of listening. Listening comes from a sense of curiosity, interest and willingness to explore the world with another human being. It is much different from simply hearing the words that another person speaks – listening is active, honest and empathetic.
When we take the time to genuinely listen to our friends and loved ones, they will feel heard, appreciated and understood, which will enhance any relationship. When we can connect through listening with a spouse, child, friend or even a total stranger, we create trust and a sense of partnership.
Furthermore, when we are disagreeing with someone, listening is more important than ever. It is so easy to shout, to ignore what they are saying because we have so much to retort ourselves, but when we hear the other side of the story with a real listener’s ear, we can calm arguments and bolster relationships. Listening means caring about the other person’s feelings, struggles and needs – even when we disagree about something.
True listening leads to true relationships, true connections and true love.
Estee Goren, M.A., is a Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT 50146) working with teens, adults and couples. She is specializing in relationship, life transitions, illnesses, grief, and personal growth. Her goal is to help others gain a new perspective, overcome personal challenges, improve their overall wellbeing, and pursue personal development.
